UAE Blog-ger !!

How big is BIG?

2006-09-11T23:59:00.000+04:00

ok I know its beeen ages since i posted but i have my reasons =)

well if anyone is interested i've been offered a new position at work which requires a lot of travelling .. which is great!!! I stopped studying this semester might enroll in winter though... i'll see how it all goes...

so i wanted to ask... everyone at work (not everyone but my coffee break group) have been talking about how men obsess over models and gurls who have that air-brushed look... c'mon!! like we r not real !! i mean i have a good figure.. nice derriere .. and im 34 C (in case anyone wants to buy me lingerie) lol!!

but the question i wanna ask is.. how big can a guys package be... like whats BIG? and whats the average size!! this isnt a perverted subject but there is no harm in asking.. is it? hehe

come on guys i wanna seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ur answers... and i promise ill try to post more often now mwah!

hearts in the air !!!

2006-02-14T22:40:00.000+04:00

Valentines ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

dont u love it?

lon-don ...

2006-02-07T23:19:00.000+04:00

London was a blast... i cant say much now... but i had LOADS of fun...

since i came back i've been so tired i didnt get the chance to blog...

so tell me... whats going on with ur life?

Put the Dots on the letters!?

2006-01-31T09:02:00.000+04:00

I came into the office this morning to finish off things b4 i leave to the airport (yes being the good employee that I am...*not*)... n e way...i came into my office and my supervisor followed .. he was talking about a project I was working on and how the team got an extension and all... then he started talking about my trip.. like what am i going to do.. who im going with.. etc etc... then b4 he left.. he said "Just put the dots on the letters" WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

I was confused ... & shocked.. put the dots on the letters?! was that like a secret code for something ... or was i missing out on something.. put in mind my supervisor is Arabic and kind of creepy sometimes... but that doesnt bother me... i just want to know what that mean!!

I dont have time ... i gotto go home get my bag say my goodbyes and leave to the airport...

i'll try to post from London.. but i doubt it!!

*blows kisses to everyone & waves*

later =)

Quit the drama ppl !!!

2006-01-29T23:32:00.001+04:00

dont u just get annoyed when ur on the phone ... finish what u say and u just wanna hang up... usually when im with a friend i'd say what i want and hang up.. no "bye bye's" in there... i mean people sometimes get pissed off and send me text msg's after that with "whats up with u, why did u hang up?" hehe i'd be like.. WTF?!

im a straight forward person... i like to say whats needed to be said.. then its over! like we'd say what we have to say and i'd be like "ok c u" and hang up.. and it would be over... whats up with ppl ... there r a lot of DRAMA QUEENS out there... spare me..

im leaving to London in about 2 days.. i'll try to update from there... i know u will all miss me.. deal with it hehehehee

LONDON BABY.. here i COME!!!

Take the Quiz

2006-01-25T09:34:00.000+04:00

Lets see how well U know me =)

try it!

Take My Quiz
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QuizYourFriends.com!

FGOB

2006-01-23T00:13:00.000+04:00

I see weird people everyday... but what caught my attention is the Freaky guy on the bike (FGOB) now he freaks me out..

now Mr FGOB is someone so freaky he keeps giving me these *EVIL* looks everyday... we meet when i leave the office mainly... when i leave work he is on his bike.. thats the only time we c each other... why the evil looks... read on..

i tried so hard 2 remember if the FGOB is someone i owe money to... or someone i bumped into on a bad day... then it hit me... he's the guy i nearly ran over.. yes ladies and gentlemen.. i nearly ran over Mr. FGOB ... i never got the chance to apologise coz he rode off immediately that day.. since then he's been giving me evil evil looks...

now how will i apologise to him... shall i stop him and say im sorry!!

Mr FGOB.. im sorry.. this is 4 u man =)

P.E.A.C.E. OUT

[Insert title here]

2006-01-20T16:57:00.000+04:00

Well lets just say things r going smooth for my friend SLASH boyfriend right now :) We r both happy.. and im glad we got that all cleared up :)

I woke up early this morning and decided to go jogging.. the weather was gorgeous .. i got my nano(sorry 7tenths) and got out of the house by 8:30 a.m. i got back home at around 10 a.m. by then my dad was in the kitchen reading the paper and having his breakfast... he was surprised that I was up early! to tell u the truth i was surprised myself..

im planning to go out visit some friends tonight.. then might go have dinner watch a movie .. i need to spend time with my friends since i haven't in the past few weeks..!! they r gonnna kill me if i bail out on them 2nite too!!

Nothing interesting this weekend... How was urs?

Things that make u go Hmmmmmm...

2006-01-17T08:46:00.000+04:00

I dont know what wrong with me... but i think i have a slight crush on my friend.... my best friend actually. I have known him for more than 7 years now.. and we have been through the worst together...as friends that is...

You may wonder what has happened? Well... He left the country to study abroad.. and since then we have been missing each other a LOT ... like he would text me "I really miss you" and "I can't stop thinking about u" msgs all day... and before he left we went out for dinner then back to his place to watch a movie.. and then we had to say our goodbyes... we hugged and i cried ... he told me that he didnt want to leave.. and he was really going to miss me... well i felt the same obviously...

Then all these mixed emotions.. since he left i cant stop thinking about him... I text him all day... try to call when i can... and wait endlessly online just in case he logged on to his msn..

AM I GOING PARANOID?

or maybe this is just a phase... and i should get over it? I dont wanna risk our friendship and ruin it by telling him about my feelings towards him.... i dont wanna mess this up.....

what do i do?

In Mourn...

2006-01-15T09:53:00.000+04:00

It has been a long time since i posted...

First the Death of our Ruler of Dubai Shaikh Maktoum Bin Rashid Al Maktoum... May god rest his soul in peace...

and today... Shaikh Jaber Al Subah... May God rest his soul in peace...

To all the Q8's .. I feel your pain...

the night b4 the big night

2005-12-30T22:08:00.000+04:00

yes it NEW YEARS already!!! I can't beleive its been a year already....so many things have changed... i made new friends ... lost some... been through some rough and good times... it was all good in the end i guess...

2005:

Met 2 very nice people... who i considered as friends
Friends turn out to be not so nice after all (back stabbers)
Met my step sister & brothers :)
Moved to AD
Dropped out of school
Moved in with my dad
Fell in Love
Out of Love
Got a new job
Made new friends
Back into school
Starting a new life.. with someone
Making an effort to be more with my family rather than spending time with my friends

2006:

Try not to party as much (yeah right)
Visit my mom more
Get a new car
Get a tattoo >_< !! (not so sure about this one)
Go back to my piano lessons
Try to work out more..
Take a month off and travel with my best friend ever D
Adopt a baby (i really wanna do that)
Visit A in Lebanon
Go to my Highschool re-union

I guess thats all i can think of right now... I have to decide what to wear for 2moro nights party... still not sure what the theme is this time..

What are u doing for new years?

I am an angel after all =D

2005-12-26T10:07:00.000+04:00

You scored as Angel. Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.

Angel

83%

Mermaid

75%

Faerie

67%

Dragon

50%

WereWolf

33%

Demon

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

The Big Day!!!

2005-12-24T17:51:00.000+04:00

well 2day is our office x-mas party!!!! at last... i've been preparing for it for weeks now... and now that the day has come i want to enjoy it!

The problem is that I only had 3 hours sleep last night... went to work.. then had to meet up with my group from Uni to discuss our project... I just came back home and it's nearly 6 pm!!!

I have 2 get ready quick...and go b4 everyone arrives to make sure everything is ready!!!

and listen to this you guys... but I have a Date!!!!!!!! hehehehe

ill tell u about him later..

wish me luck >_< !!!

quickie =) hehe

2005-12-13T23:02:00.000+04:00

Im watching this weird show called "Significant Others" which is funny-freaky-weird !! hehe.. i can't explain it... u have to c it..

I just came home... went to work this morning... left to meet a client for lunch....went for my class... oh... my class.. i just remembered... I had to give in a presentation which i didnt prepare for.. but being me ... i just worked everything out on the spot... after I got my feedback... i found out I got an A !!!!!!!!!!!!! =) this meant i should treat myself for something nice... so i went shoppping...

I got myself a new pair of jeans... a nice top and a metallic belt. funkai huh? =)

my friend surprised me by coming over after she left me about 100 messages! she is so sweet!!! she got me flowers and chocolate... she stayed for a while then left back to Dubai...

I need a break from AD, someone please kidnap me and take me to Dubai =)

injection...blood...waiting..tense..

2005-12-10T19:42:00.000+04:00

Going to the clinic today I saw my life flash infront of me.. what if..? omg what am i going to do.. ooh it was really bad... and the worst part is.. no one was with there with me..

I was all alone.. waiting in the clinic's waiting room... holding onto my phone I know I wanted to call someone... but then I said.. no I shouldn't , im going to be fine..

after about 2 hours... my results come out.. and im NEGATIVE!!! I was releived!! I dont think I have ever been under such pressure..

During my 2 hour wait in the clinic... I saw people in PJ's (Yes im not kidding) 2 guys.. who spoke a VERY weird language.. one of them looked European.. the other was Asian... it was weird... I hate clinics/hospitals/injections/medicine/doctors/nurses

no offense ppl :)

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so i dont get hurt

Because of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me

because of u... I am Afraid...

out of the coverage area

2005-11-28T08:10:00.000+04:00

my flight was a late night one... so ... i couldnt sleep on the plane.. the ppl who were with me from work slept as soon as they got into thier seat... i watched Ice Princess instead :P

We got to our hotel.. which is really nice... had lunch then went to our rooms to settle in... the rest decided to go out again for dinner i ordered room service.. i couldnt eat a thing... which is good coz i think im losing weight hehe.. :) accidently as i was about to get the tray out of the room it fell.. yes it FELL from my hands.. ( due to the lack of energy i guess ) and the plate broke.. ketchup was everywhere and i ended up with a bleeding finger!!! How .. do not ask me..

I got up late as well this morning we were supposed to meet up with one of the companies at 9 am.. i was practically getting dressed in the elevator.. by 11 am.. i started feeling really sleepy.. the rest went out im back in my room.. might sleep.. or go out for a walk...

its weird... but i think im homesick!

b-lah

2005-11-25T14:46:00.000+04:00

This weekend was crazy... i mean REALLY crazy...

i met up with some very old school friends... actually they surprised me by driving all the way to AD and getting me out of bed thursday morning and off to the beach...

we went and got some color into us... talked .. had lunch together.. then they decided to go to a movie... i skipped coz i had to meet one of the caterers for the x-mas party.. and told them we'll meet up at around 7 p.m. -ish...

I got back home after i met with the caterers and lied down in bed when i got a msg from my school friends " Get ready, we r going to party 2nite" they never have enough... !!! I told them I couldnt and TRIED to talk them out of it... but I couldnt...they came over .. we got ready and drove down to Dubai ... and it was AMAZZZZZZZZZZING.... i can't remember when was the last time i had this much fun!!

I got back to AD this morning.. with a major-killing headache and a burnt shoulder (from tanning the day before) but it was all worth it...

oh i love u guyz i had a blast ... please come again.. *wink*

I need to breathe!

2005-11-22T22:57:00.000+04:00

For the past couple of days I have been out of the house from 7:30 a.m. up to around 10 p.m.!!! i'm exhausted... I have been preparing for the office x-mas party...shopping ..(for my next trip)... attending classes...and squeezing in a social life in between...

One of my very old friends R has been acting weird... very weird... so i decided to give him space to see whats up with him..

I met up with one of my friends...with her baby boy!!!!!!! WHO IS ADORABLE! I wanna get married i wanna have my own baby >_< !!!!

I have 2 go get some sleep before I go back to work...

Peace y'all!!!

Gos-sip

2005-11-20T18:40:00.000+04:00

People keep calling me up for advice, on work, studies, even their love life....!! Not that im an expert in any of those topics... but i guess im a good listener.. i listen to people... i share their hurt, pain and happiness... it is those moments in life where i appreciate the little things around me...

My dad is out of the country and wont be back till god knows when... the kids at home are making me go crazy i think its all the sweets i sneak into the house and give them... one of the rules my step-mom has here is NO TO CHOCOLATES/SODA DRINKS/JUNK FOOD ..i feel sorry for them so i get them junk and tell them not to tell :P

I'm going to be out of the country soon.. for a couple of days dont know when I'm going to be back though.. i haven't packed yet >_< !! So i'm all over the place right now... last minute shopping :)

I have been in a partying mood but haven't got around that yet... with the x-mas party and all the arrangements its been crazy...

*I need a personal shopper....anyone?

Unpleasantly weird >_< !!!

2005-11-16T18:55:00.000+04:00

I scheduled myself for a massage yesterday....which turned out... weird.. and not as relaxing as i expected...

The place is new and my friend told me they were "Great!!" so i took an appoitment and went... the lady showed me to my room and i went in and got ready for the massage.. she came in and started... Massaging...

suddenly i feel something weird.. she was massaging my BUTT!!! yes my butt!.. It felt weird.. in a bad way... i wanted the massage to end !!! then she asked me to flip over and lay on my back... and asked if i wanted to get my stomach massaged!!! I said No!! weird i know.. ive had massages everywhere... but never did i experience one like this!

on another not... things have gone weird for me and a couple of my friends.. we have drifted apart.... I dont know why... so i've spend most of my time working out and shopping.. and i'm kind of enjoying it .. having all the time to myself.. :)

some people at work arre organizing a x-mas party.. and want me to help... i love PARTIES .. so i agreed... its gonna be one hell of a PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

been a while..

2005-10-22T03:32:00.000+04:00

I know ... I know... its been a WHILE!!!

I've beeen very very very very very (extremely) busy... busy with my class...which is becoming a big pain in the neck! but ... im hanging in there...

ive started to stay up late at night.. sleep early in the morning ... and wake up just before sunset ! I hate doing that but i got used to it now... watching "life as we know it" and stuffing my face with junk...! exciting.. i know.. .. moving on...

i've been playing with my new cam and taking anonymous shots....i have to upload my new nano *yaay* and i have to go eid shopping.. I always end up shopping right before Eid and find nothing good to wear.. end up in jeans :P

I gtg sleep... Its late... and i need to get up early :(

missed y'all peeps =)

back

2005-10-02T20:52:00.000+04:00

I know it has taken me ages to update... i've been keeping myself busy with work and class... yes im actually studying now... so my life is kind of hectic ..

the past few weeks kind of sucked with all the drama going on in my life... but im way over that now and i guess i just need to be careful next time... i hope :)

i think im getting the flu coz i feeel sick :( my throat is killing me ...

i'll try to update as sooon as i can... i promise :)

Frozen Feelings

2005-09-10T20:05:00.000+04:00

Yesterday on the 10th of Sep 2005 at 9:51 p.m. my world came crumbling down on me

Upside Up :P

2005-09-07T08:36:00.000+04:00

Been in a shitty mood lately.. not really in the mood to blog... but I guess all is good now... i Hope >_<

I've been going out a lot with my friends lately... having sleepovers... late night chats ...and huge sugar intakes... i mentioned something and I dont know if anyone else has noticed this or not... sometimes I would see a couple.. holding hands...which I think is adorable! But sometimes u would see the girl holding on SO TIGHT to her partner afraid he would run away... not thats FREAKY!! hehe...

My trip to Q8 has been cancelled... I was supposed to go in 2 weeks .. seems like I can't coz im handing in a project the same week for work.. ukh :(

I miss Dubai...

I want my life back >_< !!!!!!

i'm in "La La" Land again :P

2005-08-28T13:37:00.000+04:00

I know i'm in love when :

I Can't sleep at night .. thinking of U
I Call u first thing in the morning just to tell u "I missed u"
I Smile when I see ur # on my phone
My hearts beats so fast when U hold my hand
I feel safe when I'm in your arms
I draw hearts all over my notes
I hold your hand when I walk with u
Ur the only person I can think of

I know this is kind of cheesy ... but I can't help it !

I am in heart...

2005-08-25T10:44:00.000+04:00

I think im in Love ...

is this good or bad ?

2005-08-23T08:42:00.000+04:00

I want to take a week off work and relax.... I want to sleep until noon and wake up have breakfast in bed turn on the tv and watch cheesy soaps... I want to go out and stay up late I want to party all night !

but life sucks

I CAN'T

I'm thinking of getting one of those spray on Tans has anyone tried them..? the ones u get into the machine and it sprays u... i'm thinking of doing it ... does anyone know any good places here in the UAE?

I LOVE U ETISALAT!

2005-08-22T08:16:00.000+04:00

Finnnnnnnnnnnnnnnally Etisalat pay me a visit at home and fix my connection... they sent out this guy who I thought was Indian so.. I was explaining to him what was going on .. and then he blabbered something out in Arabic... I was like o_O ? Again he said something .. I knew he was tring to say he was local but I couldnt reply... so I was like "I don't speak Arabic" (btw he was kinda cute) .. ahm.. back to the subject... He looked kind of surprised & shocked... and I wasn't in the mood to explain... so while fixing the wires and stuff we started talking.. and I told him how good it is to see locals working as technicians and stuff and all.. he finished up I thanked him and he left with a smile on his face... he told it was the first time a customer actually talks to him and asks about his job and work line.. poor guy... he told me no one actually appreciates technicians and make little effort to talk to them when working... broke my heart poor guy..

This week I'm going to be EXTRA busy... last night my little brothers & sister came back from Paris.. so the house is going to crazy again.. my friends R back so that means I won't be home most of the time..

until then my friends ... ^_^

Update

2005-08-21T08:37:00.000+04:00

Well my weekend didnt quite go the way I planned it to.. a several things happened... starting from the day I left... I got into a HUGE argument with my dad.. which ended in me leaving in tears .. but I didnt want that to get to me... coz I know how he is.. so I passed by 2 of my friends and we headed to DXB !!!!

I reallllllllllllllllly can't remember when was the last time I enjoyed myself this much.. We stayed at Al Qasr in Madinat Jumeira ... the first night we got there we got dressed and had dinner in the Souq It was amazing... we then had other plans ahead of us for that night so we got back to our room and got ready for a wild night out :)

The next morning we got up early had breakfast and headed to the beach... and then we all had appoitments at the Six Senses Spa... and it was ammmmmmmmmmmazing!!! We then went out around Jumeira did a bit of shopping... met up with more friends.. and by then we were tired and got back to the hotel and slept..

Friday morning went out for an early swim.. had lunch at the pool then we had to go back and checkout :(

I'm left with a nice tan and some burns on my shoulders.. but what the heck.. it was worth it :)

now im back to WORK :( and all I wanna do is sleep!! hehe

Hope u all enjoyed ur weekend..

Spoil me!

2005-08-17T15:20:00.000+04:00

I'm away for the next couple of days to get pampered from head-to-toe !!! I know I deserve this getaway .. im going with some friends and I guess I wannna have a blast.. not to mention party till I drop!!!

Until then my friends

P.E.A.C.E =)

Emotional

2005-08-15T09:40:00.000+04:00

Something happened this morning which got me all in tears!

I helped out this person... he needed my help to finish off some work for his wife... without thinking twice I did... I do not know the guy personally... nor his wife... but I kept trying so hard to get what they wanted... and I did!!! The guy called me up at work and thanked me and I didnt know what to say!! I was speechless I was happy for him! Then a few mins later his wife called.... and she thanked me a lot and said "U don't even know me and U helped me... this was a dream to me.. and finnally it became true" My eyes filles with tears and a smile on my face.. .I was speechless again...

These moments are valuable.. to every person.. you dont know how much this meant to this couple.. and they worked hard for it.. and I'm happy I helped them... I'm very happy...

I feel I made a difference in someones life.. I touched their hearts...

If u could make a difference in someones life... dont think twice.. it could mean a lot to them

Help me plz...

2005-08-13T08:38:00.000+04:00

I got into a huge argument with my dad last night which ended up with me in tears and a major @$$-kickin headache...

it all started as a normal discussion which led to a more serious subject... which ended up rather disapointing.. I knew he felt bad coz he knew he is the one to blame in the first place... and he is not even trying change a thing...

enough about that coz im not in the mood ... i am seriously thinking of moving out now... and maybe even leaving the country to study.. i know i've been on and off this subject.. but now i think i should make up my mind... quick...

Boiling Points

2005-08-06T15:27:00.000+04:00

I decided I needed a break from work coz i've been feeling really down.. and guess what? The AC wouldnt work when I switched on my car ...arrrrrrgh!
Etisalat are very slow... The Internet is not working bcoz of the damn phone line ...
There aren't any good movies showing
My dad won't listen to me
I want a new dog
My face is breaking out
Everyone is on holiday
I'm kind of broke at the moment
I want a PSP
My dad said I can't get a new car yet .. *cry*
My step mom thinks im spoiled.. but im not :(
MSN is getting on my nerves
I'm so tired now I can't even sit up straight..

R.I.P

2005-08-01T15:00:00.000+04:00

King Fahad passed away this morning... May his soul R.I.P. ...

I have been living in on the verge of breakdown while staying at my dad's... I can't live with his rules... and do as he says.. I can't seem to join my lifestyle with his.. its just impossible.. but he is expecting me to... living the past 16 years or so of my life away from my parents has taught me some very valuable lessons... i wont deny I did at many times wish they were around.. although my mom always told me .. we r only a phone call away...

Its just hard... hard after all these years trying to live in a house together.. my step mom doesnt seem to bother me.. she never inteferes with my life.. but my dad.. no he's another story... before when I used to spend the weekend with him it was fine.. it was like we would go out do stuff watch movies and I would go back home.. but now.. living under one roof ..its just @#%*&#$%*(&#$% getting out of control...

I wanna move back to Dubai :(

Question

2005-07-29T23:37:00.000+04:00

If u were a superhero... WHO would U be?

Whats up with men?

2005-07-25T14:40:00.000+04:00

Have U ever been through a phase where u just hate men... no offense to all u guys out there.. but there r some serious creeps out there.. not all of them of course..

Guy #1 He works at the supermarket I always go to.. he is the cashier.. In the beggining I thought he was just being nice.. u know the usual. how r u's.. talking about the weather.. mobile phones.. then i find out he's asking about me through my friends.. like why i dont come anymore.. i was like "poor guy i should go say hi to him" but then when I do.. he gets mad and angry why I dont shop there anymore.. CREEP

Guy #2 He works with me in the same department.. actually his workstation is opposite mine.. he would come into the office without a "Hello" or "Good morning" instead he will send me e-cards & "Hello, how r u doing today?" e-mails.. Weirdo!

Guy #3 I have never seen Guy# 3 bcoz he is actually always in the car.. he follows me around the neighbourhood.. I dont know if he has a face ! Looser

Guy #4 Calls me all the time, asking for Moza, who is Moza u ask? I have no idea.. but he wont understand the fact that he dialled the wrong #.. still calls.. Jerk

The list just goes on and on..

I'm sorry guys.. U know i love u.. but there are a lot of jerks out there...

do u have any weird guys around u? =)

Dad's crib

2005-07-22T11:22:00.000+04:00

I'm crashing at my dad's crib for the time being bcoz of my new job and all... and let me tell u some rules that go around here:

They don't do "breakfast in bed" (which sucks) its more like "Come down and lets ALL have breakfast together" thing...
At around 10pm most of the house members are in bed >_<>
Lunch & Dinner is served exactly the same time everyday and its always a 3 course meal.
Soda drinks are not served.
Apparently I have to ask for permission before I wanna go someplace (I learnt that the hard way :P )
I have to excused to leave the table.
Phones have to be on silent while eating, that also goes for not answering the phone even if on silent!!!!
Mondays are usually movie nights... We are all supposed to choose a movie and go watch it together.
I have to make my own bed.
You are not supposed to have a face mask, lie on the sofa in the sitting room in ur Pj's, you do that in UR OWN BEDROOM.

There's more to the list and i'll keep u updated :) They sometimes remind me of the Brady Bunch! I miss my house and the "No Rules" agreement to it! I guess this is how it feels living with ur family.. I'm not complaining.. but u know its sometimes nice having ppl around =)

Anyone can make babies....but only a MAN can raise one

Jibberish

2005-07-19T14:07:00.000+04:00

I woke up this morning after a 10 hour good night sleep... I felt SICK!.. i've been sneezing all morning for some odd reason.. the egyptian guy i see everyday said i looked PALE! I think im getting the flu *damn it*

for some reason i have been sneezing all morning and now my throat hurts... work is getting hectic.. and no sign of the cute guy yet... argh :( !

I met up with someone yesterday for about 15 mins... i drove for like an hour and half for just 15 mins with someone... am i normal?! *sigh* it was nice seeing him... even if it was for a few mins.. it was definitely worth it.. he seemed nervous.. couldnt look me in the eye.. he seemed older... and beleive it or not.. it was the FIRST time i ever see him smile.. in all the past 8 years i've known him.. it was the first time i ever see him :)

I was happy i went to see him...let me tell u something about him.. he's very down to earth.. funny.. and very independant.. which i love about him... he doesnt care what car he drives.. or whats the latest phone in the market.. or what he's wearing.. i love him for that.. we grew up together.. and i feel secure with him.. but things are just way too complicated for us to take one step further.. i cant break his heart and i dont want to expect something from him.. i just wanna stand back and help him out.. be a friend.. and nothing more..

I better go get myself a warm cuppa coffee .. i need one

Its hard being a girl!

2005-07-17T23:18:00.000+04:00

Yes u heard me right!!!

the $h*t we go through !!! I mean for gods sake.. we pamper ourself from head 2 toe just to look and feel good..

from mani's & pedi's to massages, waxing, laser treatments, facials, hot oil treatments... oh its 2 much 2 handle..

I'm doing good @ work.. !! its nice.. the ppl I work with are polite and welcoming.. AND there is a cute guy who I see from time to time.. not sure whether he works with us or not.. so i have to ask around :P it's always nice going to work expecting someone nice waiting for u :) someone bring me back from LALA land..!! ahem.. ok ^_^

*note to myself: Dont wear tight jeans 2 work, not a good idea !!!!

I'm at my worst

2005-07-14T01:04:00.000+04:00

Don't ask me why... I think this just might be my worst day ever... I just found out something... something i know I would dread for the rest of my life... Something that would haunt me for the rest of my life..

I know this might sound weird... but .. have u ever felt that u would never want a relationship with 'someone' and when this 'someone' goes on and finds someone else...it just hits u!!! ooh why do i feel so jelous.. as soon as i knew that 'someone' has found 'someone else' i felt angry.. frustrated.. i even wanted to cry.. WHY? I have no idea ...

I mean this guy was never on my 'wishlist' (not that i have one :P) I mean i never considered him to be more than a friend...and now... im all jelous :( is this normal?

ooh THIS SUCKS !

Who is ur real friend?

2005-07-12T00:50:00.000+04:00

Is it someone who goes shopping 4 u?

Someone who will cry 4 u?

Someone u can depend on?

Have u ever thought of that b4?

I feeel that I can't trust anyone anymore... i've beeen through a lot of problems with my friends... and the only ones who I consider r my real friends are the ones i find beside me when im at my worst...they r the ones i can call up at the middle of the night and cry my eyes out to and they won't have a problem with it... they r the ones that tell me that "everything is going to be ok" and make me feel good about it... they r the ones that I share my ice-cream with....they r the ones that would cheer me up when im down..

to all my friends I Love You

The Interview

2005-07-06T13:02:00.000+04:00

I went...I didnt know what to wear for an interview.. never ever been on a real one.... I ended up wearing a nice shirt and a skirt, put my hair up dabbed on some lip gloss and was ready to go...

I was supposed to meet up with one of the consultants of this company at a coffee shop at the mall, I was a bit concerned on how these interviews went but I didnt expect them to be done at shopping malls !! Anyhow... I went.. Called up the guy on my way and got there on time...

I entered the coffee shop.. looking around... I had no idea how this guy looked like, there were 2 guys sitting in the corner with a laptop another lady with her husband I think on the other end, 2 guys talking on the phone and one bald guy in a suit reading the newspaper. I stopped for a minute then got my phone out of my purse to call him up, at that time the bald guy looked up and smiled, waved his hand and I approached his table.

He greeted me with a smile, we shook hands and sat. The waitress came up to my table and i ordered a cuppa coffee (I dont know if I was supposed to be drinking during an interview but I guess I was getting too comfortable) this is how it went:

him: So I heard a lot from u
me: Well I'm afraid I can't say likewise
him: ur still studying?
me: well not at the moment
him: good
me: *smiles*
him: This is what we want u to do (he gets out some papers from his breifcase which was on the floor beside his chair)
me: hmmm
him: Is it a lot?
me: Why me?
him: This is a very good oportunity and I think yu are capable of doing it, we want more locals in our company, we still dont have any females, ur friend has talked a lot about u.. i know you still haven't finished ur studies and thats fine with us. Think about it.
me: so it doesn't matter if i have a degree or not?
him: you know enough already .. i know you are capable of doing this job.. and u can always continue ur studies anytime later, we wont have a problem with that
me: ok i'll think about it
him: get back to us as soon as possible
me: I will

phew..im glad its over i was quite nervous...there was more to the interview though, we talked about working hours and my responsibilities but i wouldnt bore u with that! ... but i guess i did fine....didn't I? :)

all over the place

2005-07-05T12:52:00.000+04:00

I missed this place... I seriously missed u all!!! I'm back.. with the flu though :(

I'm feeling better now haven't left home yet... I have loads of stuff to finish off before the end of the week.. so i'm trying to finish paperwork for school and stuff..

I got a job offer!! YES .. a REAL job :P I got a phone call this morning at around 10:30 a.m. from this guy who works in this advertising company... so he explains how he got my # from one of my friends and has been trying to contant me for a while now. The job requires someone who is going to be working full time.. around 9 hours a day.. working with clients all around the world and arranging different kinds of events. The job requires someone who is flexible with moving around.. and I told him I would think about it and asked him to fax me the offer (which isn't bad btw !!! )

so what has everyone else been up to for the past few weeks? Anything interesting/weird/funny happened 2 u ?

The Guy

2005-07-03T10:27:00.000+04:00

The guy with the vodafone t-shirt

He was SO CUTE

we met at breakfast.. I was thinking of what cereal to have, choco pops.. or cornflakes.. when BAM.. he bumps into me.. I turned with a frown on my face.. 1st of all it was too early for me to even start an argument.. 2nd he was irresistably CUTE! scruffy hair.. unshaved beard... a bit overweight.. killing smile!

That frown of mine turned into a smile..

"Im sorry" he said.... i just smiled and walked away with no ceral just a glass of milk to my table..

a few minutes later he came up with a bowl of cornflakes to my table..

him:I think u forgot this..
me: I think i did *smiling again*
him: can i join u?
me: *looking around* yeah sure
him: holiday?
me: huh? yeah
him: family?
me: no friends
him: cool

my friends then came.. and so i had to leave and join them..as we were going shopping that same day...

I didnt meet vodafone t-shirt guy after that

i bet he left...

DAMN IT!

SHout OUT!

2005-06-30T07:38:00.000+04:00

A shout out to all u Q8's out there..

YOU ROCK !!!!

Quickie!

2005-06-27T07:34:00.000+04:00

Just a quick update !! I have to go out soon!! I'm going to be back home sooon!!

Inkstewer whats going on!!! i've been trying to call u.. but the network here is crap.. and i keep moving from place to place..!

i miss home!

*blows kisses 2 everyone*

love y'alllllllll

Nora

2005-06-20T13:15:00.000+04:00

She packed her bags.. she never wanted to go back... but she had to.

Leaving the states for Nora was something huge. She had her friends, her studio apartment, her job, her neighborhood... she never wanted to leave. Living in the states for the past 7 years made Nora realise what she really wanted in life. She wanted her freedom. She learnt the hard way. When Nora first moved to the States she was 17, stayed with a host family and hated it. She was going to continue her education there and would have to adapt to the changes around her. She didn't have any servant picking up after her, no one to wash/cook/clean her room for her.. she was on her own this time.

By time Nora made friends, she was a social butterfly. Everyone knew who she was on campus. She made an effort to join in every party on campus... she would only visit her family during the x-mas break which was only for 3 weeks... those 3 weeks she spent every year back home were hell to her. She didn't like the way her family lived, the social engagments she was obliged to... the dress code... she hated it..

Nora met Bader, a kuwaiti student studying with her at the same school. They started going out and one thing led to another. She was head over heels ! Bader was her centre of attention. He was crazy about her too but told her that they could never get married as his parents already want him to marry hi s cousin Latifa back in Kuwait. Nora would always get furious when he mentioned Latifa or the fact that he had to go back to Kuwait... but she knew that one day he was going to leave...

By the time she got her bachelors she informed her parents she wanted to do her masters... by that time it was too late for them to say no as she already applied to the school she wanted to study in. Nora being the person she has become felt releived that she still has more time to spend in the states.. Bader had to leave back by that time, as his parents couldnt afford the costs for him to enroll for the Masters.

Nora was devestated but knew she could go on without him... she was strong.. tried to be at least.. sometimes she would just cry herself to sleep... just 2 forget about him...

By the time she finished her Masters it was time for her to leave.. she kept delaying her flight back home. Her excuse was always that she had to finish off some paperwork for school....she didnt want to go back.. how would she live their... she won't have the freedom she used to have back in the states... but she knew she had to leave one day...

She went to the coffee place round the corner from her apartment, it was quiet.. she had her usual latte and a muffin. She sat in a corner with a book in her hand.. she needed to relax...She started reading until she heard a familiar voice.. she looked up .. and there he was .. Bader.. at the counter ordering coffee with his arm wrapped around a blonde tall very good looking girl.. she didnt look Kuwaiti..

Bader paid the guy and kissed the girl with him on her head.. she hugged him tight.. who was she? Is that Latifa? Nora went blank.. she couldnt think..

Bader then spotted a comfy sofa and pointed it out to the girl with him, she nodded and went and sat down. Nora was still suprised. By that time Bader looked in Nora's direction, their eyes locked. Nora stood up, walked up to Bader. He seemed nervous.

Nora: Hi
Bader: Hala
Nora: Ur back?
Bader: Kind of
Nora: *puzzled*
Bader: *shrugs*
Nora: Latifa?
Bader: *looks away*
Nora: Whats wrong?
Bader: I dont know Nora
Nora: What do u mean?

By that time the girl with Bader walks up from the sofa and puts her arm around Bader and says: "Who's this honey?"

Bader went pale... Nora knew something was wrong...

Bader: Nora, this is Charlotte... my wife
Nora: Charlotte?
Bader: Yes we got married a year ago..
Charlotte: Who are you?
Nora: I used to be in Baders class, can't remember which one coz we hardly ever talked.. been a long time since I saw him, just came up to make sure if its him.. I guess you are living in Kuwait now?
Bader: Well no.. not really
Charlotte: I'm expecting my baby by the end of the year..and we decided to go to Kuwait after the baby is born..
Nora: Thats nice, wish you all the best.. I better go now.. please Bader send my regards to your cousin Latifa, I'm leaving in a couple of days.. im going back home.. Nice seeing you.. hmm Bader.. right?
Bader: *blank*

Nora left the Coffee place .. she didn't want to look back.. tears filled her eyes .. and she cried all the way back home..

Nora was now ready to go back home...

Family Re-Union

2005-06-18T09:20:00.000+04:00

Finnally... I meet my younger brothers and sister!! They are ADORABLE!!! My sister is an exact copy of me!! She is SO Cute *she has 2 be she's my sis* :P my one and only sister!! She's 5 years old.. the boys on the other hand are so cheeky!! First we went to the mall... and they wanted to go play so we went.. and they started running around all over the place!! They keep forgetting my name and won't listen to what I say !! My dad took over after that!

I really enjoyed their company.. and i asked my dad if we could do this more often.. he seemed releived.. I dont know why!! He never wanted us to meet and always told me when they get older... I guess its because its hard for him to explain the connection and how we have different mothers... but still.. They have the right to know.. dont they??

On another note.. im officiallly BROKE... yes u heard me im broke! Maybe thats why i've been all cranky lol... but now that I'm going to be with my mom starting this week... i think im going to get all $$$$ up :)

My mom called me last night... her voice sounded stressed, I knew something was wrong with her.. I asked her if my little brothers were giving her a hard time... she said she just wasn't feeling well...I know my mom doesnt want me to leave the country to study abroad.. Although we don't actually live together I know she needs me to be with her..

I'm having second thoughts on studying in London

The "L" Word

2005-06-15T19:49:00.000+04:00

I get very scared & confused when the "L" word comes up... Don't ask me why .. but I think im scared of commitment...

He said it.... "I Love u"....

I said nothing back... I would never say "I Love u too" unless i meant it.. and i'm not sure whats going on right now... all these mixed emotions going through my head...

I don't want to get into this for several reasons:

He's married
He has kids
He's married!!!

As far as I know... his wife took the kids and left... and she might not come back.. and its breaking my heart seeing him like this.. I just wanna be his friend... I dont want him to expect more...

I'm stuck in AD for the time being.. and its getting very boring.. most of my friends have left and shopping isn't fun anymore... (not when ur broke that is :P)

I'm finnnnnnnnnnnnnnallllllllllly gonna meet my step bros/sis !!! I cant wait.. my dad finnnnalllly agreeed ...and we're taking them out 2moro... we'll see how that goes..

Wish me luck!!

*fingers crossed*

Hectic Wee-kend

2005-06-11T13:17:00.000+04:00

I had to visit some family members last weekend.... and family includes cousins I have never met.. their children.. and with that comes their fathers etc..and the list goes on..

I dont know why but I have never felt that I "fit in" .. I mean everyone is just so nice and all.. but I feel like a stranger.. I told my dad how I felt.. and he said I should start spending more time with them.. that way I could get to know them more.. maybe I should.. I dont know.. AND I could practice my Arabic :)

Travelling is round the corner.. I haven't packed yet.. I guess i'll be doing my last-minute packing before I leave to the airport as always :)

I guess everyone heard about the power cut in Dubai!!! I wasn't there :) *YaaY* ..

Where were U?

Him

2005-06-07T10:18:00.000+04:00

Yesterday was the AUD's graduation ceremony... I was switching between the channels while I was in bed trying to get some sleep.. when I saw him..

I got up and increased the volume.. It was his graduation day...standing there... as charming as he always was.. smiling.. looked proud of himself...

All these mixed emotions went through my head... still in shock I sat there infront of the TV.. I looked for my phone and searched for his #.. shall i congratulate him.. should I call? I hesitated.. and finnally decided I shouldn't... It was for the better... He hurt me a lot and I am not going down that road again..

On another note.. summer plans have tottallllllllly changed.. I'm going away for a week with some friends.. then back here.. then i'm flying off for another month ... but the destination is not Europe anymore YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

I got into a very LONG conversation with my now-married friend... I sensed something was wrong with him.. the way he talked to me.. something in his tone of voice told me he wasn't ok..

me: whats wrong?
him: I dont know..
me: something bothering u?
him: i missed u
me: whats wrong?
him: didn't u hear me?
me: I heard u.. we shouldn't be doing this..
him: why?
me: ur married
him: *silent*
me: u there?
him: yeah..
me: r u ok?
him: i need u
me: where were u when i needed u?
him: I've been through a lot
me: so have i
him: i'm not happy
me: about?
him: I feel i commited too early
me: u have 2 beautiful kids
him: I love them to bits... they r the only ones who make me happy..
me: i'm very happy for u... seriously I am :)
him: i'm very comfortable talking to u.. ur the only one who understands me..
me: we shouldn't be doing this... don't mess things up with ur wife..
him: it already is.....

what is this?! I really dont get men at all!

what do u think?

Whats HOT & Whats NOT!!!

2005-06-05T19:06:00.000+04:00

Hot:

Girls giving other girls DIRTY looks in public !! the meaner & dirtier...the better!!!
Wearing designer from head to toe!
BLING-ing
Hanging designer accesories on mobile phones
Flickr
Gmail
Photography
RnB
Driving 4x4
Dating
Sushi
DVD's
iPod
Laser treatments
The stock market

NOT:

Hotmail

Marriage!!

Chillies

Grand Cinemas!!

Bluetooth

Skirts

One-peice swimsuits!! so 90's !!

London

VHS

Deira

Long Hair

Highlights

Spray-on tans

This list is not necessarily applicable to everyone =)

P.S. I know its been a while.. but things have changed..

He called...

2005-06-01T15:05:00.000+04:00

Yes he did... the same night...

I was packing... the phone rang...

His voice was always soothing... pleasant and mysterious... he told me everything... he told me things i should have known... 6 years ago..

He was married... to a foreigner.. and he has 2 very beautiful kids... they are adorable.. he talked about them.. and sent me their pictures... i was very happy for him.. I was happy because finnally i think he is happy in his life.. whereas before .. he was always in trouble.. and know i know why...

This explained a lot fo things... the time he crashed at my place.. the time I gave him my car... the frustration.. everything made sense now...

He even named one of his kids on me :) how cute!!!

i'm happy for him.. and i still wanna be his friend..

P.S. i'm craving ice cream!!

Since u've been gone..

2005-05-31T13:54:00.000+04:00

I just got off the phone with one of my VERY old friends... someone i got to know 8 years ago! For the past year.. something weird happened.... my 'friend' stopped answering my calls.. and then i just decided to stop calling and move on... knowing nothing... i wasn't given an explanation.. nothing!

and now... more than a year later .. going through my contact list i saw the # ! I said why not.. I called... and to my luck he answered.. it was weird... we did some catching up.. what we've been up to for the past year ... and then i just had to end the call... minutes later i got this sms:

" I have a lot to explain to u .. and i hope i can talk to u about it"

What do u think should I give him another chance? a chance to explain...?

I think everyone should get another chance.... do u?

P.S. thanks for being there for me when i needed u most...its nice having a shoulder to cry on :)

Help!!!

2005-05-28T09:55:00.000+04:00

Have u ever had to make life-time decisions? Decisions that would change ur life completely??

I am so scared..

P.S. I wish u only knew...

u've been X-ed !!

2005-05-23T08:48:00.000+04:00

Aren't u just sick and tired of the way Arabic programs have been copying other European/American programs... i mean commmmmmmmme on.. Survivor! what the..?! r they kidding...?? Its like being in a mad house...

I try not to watch tv a lot coz i get pissed off.. and when I do.. i tend to watch the American ones.. not that I don't want to watch Arabic programs.. but I have my reasons:

I don't understand half of whats going on.
They are boring.
To me it's not entertaining nor funny

Maybe its just me... but TV has become boring..

On another not... exams are aound the corner.. good luck to everyone.. study hard :P

P.S. I'm craving an hour with you :(

NOT another happy ending..

2005-05-18T10:42:00.000+04:00

She knew him a few years back, at that time Fatma didn't know he was her boss' younger brother. Ahmed was a very good-looking and funny guy. She met him at the beach when she was with her friends. They talked and laughed. Ahmed seemed interested in Fatma. They exchanged #'s and left. Fatma didn't hesitate to call Ahmed. As soon as she got home she called him up and asked him if he wanted to go watch a movie.

Fatma was a very confident person and would never wait for a guy to make the first move. Ahmed didnt turn down her invitation and decided to meet up with her at the movies. Ahmed surprised was now thinking to himself 'how come i never met a girl like this before..' He liked the way Fatma would always start the conversation and take lead in things. She was in control.

They became good friends for a few weeks, just before Fatma found out that Ahmed was Khalifa, her boss's younger brother. She was shocked. Khalifa and Fatma used to go out together. He then assigned her as his personal assistant at his company. Things didn't work out for them, so they decided to keep things cool as they are now working together.

She didn't want to loose Ahmed, and started to have feelings towards him. At the same time she didn't want to loose her job as she was supposed to get a promotion. Khalifa was very strict at work and by the way Ahmed talked about him he was the same at home. He was the one in charge at home as his father passed away years ago. Ahmed didn't know that Fatma worked for his brother. He also didnt know about her relationship with his older brother.

Confused and irritated Fatma decided to stop meeting Ahmed and her phonecalls became very rare. Ahmed still didn't know the reason. She changed her # and cut him out of her life. Ahmed never knew the reason and Fatma would always wonder what he has been up to. The thought of seeing him by coincidence would always haunt her. What would she tell him? How could she explain her reasons to him? She needed to keep her job and wouldnt risk to loose it.

Years passed. They never saw each other after that. Until one day when Fatma left work and was heading to her car. He was there. Ahmed was parked next to her car. He had his window down and started waving to her "Fatma? Is that you?"

Shocked.

Fatma continued walking to her car, trying to ignore Ahmed's gestures from his car, she knew there were a few employees leaving work that time. She didn't want to create a scene. She walked up to his car and asked him to meet her at the nearest petrol station. Fatma was confused, what was she supposed to tell him? How? She felt cold and switched off he a/c in the car, although it was July and the weather was really hot, she put her car window down and let the hot air into the car. Ahmed parked his car next to hers and got into the car with her.

She didn't say a word. Neither did Ahmed. He just sat there and looked at her while she was looking down. She was incomfortable, Ahmed never saw Fatma like that, so weak! Finnaly he said "Why??" She didn't say a word back. What was she supposed to say? She can't tell him about her relationship with his brother. She felt like crying, hr heart beating very fast and her eyes filled with tears. "Please don't cry" Ahmed said. He took her cellphone and saved his # and told her to call him whenever she was ready to talk.

"I just want to know why.. thats it.. i'm getting married soon. I finnally met someone I like, someone I care for, like you. Fatma whatever the reason was, I hope it was worth it. "

Ahmed left the car and got into his and drove away. Fatma now crying her heart out remembered how happy she was when she was with Ahmed. Now was it really worth it? What would he say if he knew about her relationship with his older brother? Would he leave her? She cried and cried.. she picked up her phone and saw his # He saved it under Ahmi thats what she used to call him, she smiled. She wiped her tears and drove off.

Confused and exhausted, Fatma didn't know what she was going to do.. Ahmed was now going to get married. She was happy for him, but could that have been her?

She thought again about what he said, now was it really worth it ??

Randomania

2005-05-17T10:27:00.000+04:00

Another random list...

Why can't I have chocolate for breakfast/lunch/dinner?
Why is it hard to tell the person you have a crush on how much you love them?
Why dont we have a 5-day weekend instead of 2? :P
I always expect the un-expected...
I wish I could go back-packing through Europe... i wish.. :)
The color orange.. compliments my complexion... for some reason?!
My X-bf says im skinny... which makes me feel good about myself :)
I hate cold weather..
kiwi makes me sick
My mother plays the piano really well... i wish i could half as well as she does..
My father is a politician... I admire his sense in politics..
I like listening to Ray Charles when im in the shower *lol*
I get bored when I have a bubble bath unless I have something realllllllllllllly good to read... then i'd stay in for hours
I am more of a *hugger* than a *listener* lol I tend to hug people when they cry.. or if they are in pain or sick.. etc.. coz I don't know what to do or say to them!
The last time I put henna on my hand was at my cousins wedding 8 years ago!
I died my hair red once.. I never died it since lol
I have long legs.. like my mother.. and my father's eyes
I fall in love with electronic devices...
My best friend thinks I have to see someone about my shopping habbits lol
I wanna speak Italian.... fluently
I hate muscular guys
I love dancing
I sing in the shower
Why can't I get a job at starbucks ?
Half of the time.. people dont get me... I dont know why.. i'm very straight-forward lol
Sometimes my parents don't take me too seriously..
When in a relationship... i like to be spoiled... a lot :) *who doesn't?*

P.S. Thanks for understanding... U dont know how much that meant to me :)

Mood: Pissed off!!!

2005-05-16T08:23:00.000+04:00

I am SO pissed of at the moment.. I could break something! Yesterday I met up with one of my friends... I went to her place then decideed to go out 4 coffee... As soon as we got there.. she told me "We have to talk" .. i was like "Ok...what do u wanna talk about.. ?" and then she started going on and on.. about stuff that happened AGES ago.. things that we already discussed and went over.. so i tried to keep myself from being defensive.. i didnt want to make a scene in public.. I think she chose the right place.. somewhere where I wont be able to scream my head off (not that i do)... I tried to explain something for her.. but she told me to wait until she is finished!!!!!!! WTF!! Again I tried to keep calm.. while hearing all the BS she had to say...

Now I was FURIOUS

She could see the tears in my eyes.. my face red... she could sense I was mad by the way I tapped my foot on the floor (I tend to do that when i'm angry/nervous) She stopped... and didn't wait for me to say anything.. or explain.. as she waved to one of our friends who just entered the Coffee shop... It's like she said what she wanted to say... and I dont give a *&%# about what u think!

I decided to leave... and so I did...

I don't know why ... but she envy's everything I do.. anyone I talk to... I have known her since I was 10... and we do everything together... we got our peircings together... we go shopping together.. we went to summer school together.. we know each other more than anyone would..

I dont know what to do? Shall I just cut her out from my life.. I know I'll have to talk to her about this.. but why? Why is she always butting into my life.. It's fine when she does something or talks to one of our male friends.. why is wrong when I do it? Is she Jelous?! Could that be it? And why would she be jelous!?

This is killing me :(

P.S. I need a break..

It isn't that bad... after all :)

2005-05-15T13:03:00.000+04:00

I didnt go to the pary after all ... i ended staying up all night & sleeping in.. not going to class the next morning... I woke up with a headache.. and 5 missed calls on my phone.. to my surprise one of them was from a girl in my class, its the first time she ever calls me.. i remember exchanging #'s with her at the beggining of the semester but never thought of calling her..

She was asking if i was ok or not.. how sweet of her! :)

I didnt want to have lunch at home so I decided to go out with Mayooma the sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeetest & cutest mom ever! She has an 8 month old adorable boy!! We had lunch ...gossiped... ate...gossiped.. ordered dessert.. gossiped..and so on.. well u get the idea!

A School friend of mine called me up... asking what i have been up to... we havent been in contact for a while now.. and now she wants to hook me up with one of her friends... i've never done this before... it feels weird... and just told her thanks but im not interested...

I dont know how these arranged marriages work?! Does the guy actually go up to his parents and asks them to find "Someone" for him? and what about the girl.. do her parents just tell her .. "Someone" just proposed!!! This is just too freaky for me... I dont want to be put in that situation ever!!! I want to fall in love with my future husband.. i want him to bend down on his knees and actually propose... i want tears to fill my eyes and say "Yes" and hug him!.. hehe.. ok i might have exaggerated... but wouldnt that be nice?

P.S. Daddy, please buy me a new car? *smile*

FRIDAY THE 13TH !!

2005-05-13T19:09:00.000+04:00

How come has this date always been BAD LUCK?! Do people actually beleive that the number 13 is bad luck?! I don't ..

This weekend was kind of lame.. stayed home most of the time, I didnt bother driving up to AD since the weather is getting warmer.. I don't enjoy driving in the afternoon...

I was supposed to be with my dad this weekend... but i apologised .. my reason was that I wanted to finish off my final projects... I started working on them..when I got a call from The one & Only.. Neon.. She wanted to go ICE SKATING!?!? wtf... I dont know where she gets these crazy ideas from... I told her i'd rather go bowling... so I picked her up and we went... we go there.. and we felt a bit uncomfortable.. the place was packed..and we had to wait 30 mins to get a free lane.. so we passed and went cruising around..

I've been on CHOCOLATE all weekend... I would skip meals for a kitkat... or ice cream of course.. lol.. *bad me*

I had lunch at my grandmother... the one who lives in Nad Al Sheba... and i met all my cousins.. and their kids..i hardly know their names... but they r very nice....i drove up there.. and i found the "Nisaan Guy" .. ok here is a breif description of this guy...

He drives a white NISSAN
always has his window down..smokes..
wears black shades *all the time*
Never shaves
Follows me whenever im in Nad Al Sheba

He's creepy... does anyone know who this guy is?! He is always driving around Nad Al Sheba..!!! whenever im there i see him...day/night...he's weird!

I'm invited to a pool party 2moro... i dont know if i should go or not...my X is gonna be there :(

P.S. Plz come back...i miss u :(

P.S.S. I wanna get a tattoo lol

Mariam

2005-05-11T23:46:00.000+04:00

Mariam, a 21 year old, married with 2 children.

She got married at the age of 16 to her cousin. The marriage was arranged of course and the groom, Rashid who was only 18 at the time just graduated from highschool and was going to join his fathers business.

Rashid and Mariam hardly knew each other at the time. Mariam was excited about the wedding and the fact that she was going to excape her father's strict rules at home made it more exciting. Rashid just got married because his parents thought he was a responsible young man and ready to open his own home and they also wanted to see his children. Rashid never disagreed with his parents.

The wedding was done, Mariam and Rashid lived together in a room at his parents house for the time being until his house that was being built finishes. Mariam was bought up with the fact that she has to obey her husbands wishes. She was fine with that because she accepted to live with the fact that she has to agree to whatever is told to her.

A few months into the marriage Mariam is pregnant. During that time she had to attend school. Rashid thought otherwise. He told her to stay at home, now that she is a married woman she shouldnt think about school. The only thing she should think of is her husband and new home. Of course, Mariam agreed.

They soon moved into their new 'Villa' which was on the same street as Rashid's parents house. Rashid started working with his father, he drifted away from his wife and started travelling and meeting new people. During that time Mariam had her first baby boy, Ahmed. Rashid overjoyed heard the news while he was in Kuwait on business. He came back home a week later. Mariam never asked him where he was or where he was going. It was taboo.

A few months later Ahmed left again, this time to Bahrain. Again on business. Mariam was annoyed about the fact that Rashid never spent time with her or their baby son. His business trips started to increase. Mariam saw less of him. She got pregnant again and when Rashid knew he seemed a bit upset. Mariam was furious but never talked to Rashid about it. She shouldn't, she couldn't, how could she? For all she knew was that as a wife she should always care for her husband and her husband was under pressure with all the trips he had to go on for work.

Rashid came back to his 18 month old son and 6 months pregnant wife. Mariam realised that Rashid was stressed and didnt want to be disturbed, he always wanted to be alone and couldn't stand it when Ahmed would cry in the middle of the night. Mariam never talked.

Again Rashid leaves to another destination this time it was to the far east. A vacation with his friends he told Mariam. He was stressed out and needed a break. "What about me?" Mariam stated, Rashid shocked looked at her. Quickly she smiled and told him to take care of himself and that she would be waiting for him when he comes back.

Mariam, 3 months later in the labor room. Rashid hasn't come back yet from his 'vacation' she asks her mother in law to call him, she assures her that she will and that he will be back. Hours later Mariam gives birth to her second baby, Aisha.

Rashid doesnt come back from his vacation only after 2 weeks of the birth of his second child. Mariam realises he has changed but can't talk to him about it. She tries to act normal, but then she can't. She gave up many things in life for him, can't he be considerate for just once? She finnaly digs up the guts to talk to him to her surprise he doesnt say anything back.

The next morning she woke up and found out that her husband wasn't at home. She began to cry and thought that he left because of what she said the night before. She thought she should have never of told him how she felt, how lonely she gets, how his children need him to be there as they are growing up. She hears his car coming up in the driveway. Rashid comes into the house and asks Mariam to sit down..

"I'm married" he said.

Puzzled, Mariam tells him "I know we are married"

Rashid now with tears in his eyes says, "No, I'm married to another woman, and I have a boy, Salem. He is 8 months old. I am married. I am married to another woman".

Mariam doesnt react, instead she packs her stuff takes her children and heads to her parents house.

Now who is to blame? Why did he get married? Is this why arranged marriages never work? Was this Mariam's fault? Should she have talked before? Is it because they are too young? What about their kids?

Mariam gave up her education because of her husbands wish. What did he give up?

The Club..

2005-05-10T23:42:00.000+04:00

She enters the club... scans the place ... makes eye contact with people she knows... she makes sure everyone notices her... exchanges kisses in the air with her friends..walks to her table.. orders her usual drink... lights up a cig.. and moves to the music playing

She was a Goddess... Wafa was someone everyone wanted to be with, tall, fine bod, long dark hair , she walked the walk.. talked the talk... she had her thing...

usually she waits till someone approaches her... when approached she would scan the guy.. looking on how well dressed he is, looks at his face and build.. if he's fine.. she'll dance.. otherwise.. she will just give the guy this look.. which meant she is not interested..

That night... she went .. for one cause.. payback.. if its one thing she knows how to do.. its revenge.. she is evil! She hates running after guys... its the guys who approach her.. she never makes the first move... she had an argument with Khalid a few nights before... and never got a callback from him... now Khalid was already there... they greeted..exchanged smiles.. made eye contact... and parted..

A few mins later Khalid asks Wafa to dance... holds her hand tight..and walks to the dancefloor... Wafa follows...

they dance.. get close..

Khalid whispers "I'm Sorry..." in Wafa's ears... although the music was loud.. she heard it.. Khalid never apologises... he knew how good-looking he was and how he could get any girl he wanted in seconds...

Wafa ignored what he said...being the person she is.. she likes seeing guys being torchered...

she smiles at him... and starts dancing with her girlfriends who were nearby...

Khalid.. stood there in shock..

How could she? Did she just ignore his apology..?

He went back up to her and asked her if they could go outside and talk..

"Talk about what? Can't you see im busy with my friends....we'll talk some other time" Wafa giggled...and continued dancing with her friends... leaving Khalid standing in shock.. and anger!!

He goes back to their table.. waiting for her to come back.. he couldnt be treated like that.. how could she.. no one turns him down..

Wafa came back.. 15 mins later...with her arm wrapped around one of her friends Omar

Wafa wanted revenge...wanted it to bad...but why? what did Khalid do that made Wafa act like that? This goes back to a few days back when Wafa finnaly got the guts to tell Khalid how she felt about him... Khalid turned her down.. his reasons were that he considered her as a friend so why ruin their relationship!! Wafa.. had other plans..

Khalid wanted to punch Omar's face .. he couldnt stand seeing Wafa with another guy.. how could she? She saw how furious Khalid became.. lighting one cig after the other.. then he started with the shots.. trying to get as drunk as he can... so he can act silly and not get blamed on anything he does..

Wafa decided to head back home.. and thought she did enough damage for the night..

On her way back.. sent Khalid an sms...

"Im not that into u anymore"

Who do u think is the devil here?

P.S. The phonecall i got 2day .. made my DAY.. no no.. MY YEAR lol

I think people are strange.. and reading is boring :)

2005-05-09T19:47:00.000+04:00

I get asked WEIRD Q's i get asked all the time... here are some of them:

Are you local?
Is your mother local?
Do I know u from somewhere (i freak out when someone asks me this lol)
Why do u dress like that?
Why dont u cover ur hair?
Are you local? (again)
Why dont u speak arabic?
U speak funny, why?
Where r u from?

damn it.. they just make me feel like an alien!!

Why do people like to butt in other people's life?!!! WHY!!

on another note.. visit Tata a very sweet blogger full of new ideas :)

another dear dear friend who keeps running away from me is Lammtara who is the most amazing designer/photographer/animater/cartoonist/friend/webdesigner person i've ever met!

I have to go work on my final projects... i've been skipping classes lately *angelic smile* :)

P.S. Hope u come back soon....

My 2-Do List :)

2005-05-08T09:54:00.000+04:00

Things I have to get done:

Go Summer Shopping (that is when u go shop for ur summer vacation lol)
Drive slower.
Ask daddy for money (that should go right before #1 lol)
Stop typing lol its all lammtara's fault !
Start having breakfast, not coffee.
Start Arabic classes.
Not think about R anymore.
Start a new sport, i'm thinking of squash :)
Start taking piano lessons again.
Speak more arabic and stop using swear words when kids are around :)

I know some of you might think my list is stupid... but i dont!

P.S. I wanna fall in love over and over and over again ;)

Fashionably Late!!

2005-05-07T14:38:00.000+04:00

I hate it when people don't stick to their schedules... most of my friends (most.. not all) think its good to arrive late ANYWHERE!!! I hate it when we decide to meet up somewhere say at 8 .. everyone arrives 30-45 mins later! Why!!! I said next time we meet i'll tell them 7 so they can arrive at 8 .. *evil grin*

I hate waiting

I hate it.. waiting for my turn to see the docter... waiting for someone to come... waiting for a movie to start.. waiting for food... waiting for a call.. waiting for an e-mail... I just hate it.. i hate waiting...

I applied to different schools in London, and I'm going to apply for some in the states as well... Until now... my choices for London are :

London School of Business
Richmond

My dad doesn't want me to go to Richmond.. but I do.. coz I have a couple of friends there.. I still want to apply to schools in the states...but i still have to attend my classes here in College :( so i have to put up with all those mean, fake, wannabe's until the end of the semester.. at least I'll have something on my transcript...

This morning on my way to college... I passed by the petrol station to get myself coffee and a muffin... i realised that i listen to my music really LOUD! the guy at the pump was staring at my car.. i switched the radio off.. and went down!! i think i should listen to my music a bit lower than usual..

I think i'm out of luck in relationships... they just dont work out for me... i'd rather have friends.. than a lover... coz it never works for me.. never .. everything just gets screwed up.. and I end up feeling depressed and sad, I should stop doing this to myself.. I don't wanna hurt myself more...

P.S. I wish I could just see you for... one last time...

The New 'me'

2005-05-06T01:37:00.000+04:00

I am who I am... and whoever has a problem with that... tough!

I've been trying to talk to R since yesterday but he isn't answering.... I called him this afternoon... and again a few mins ago.....

I need someone to talk to..... I'm so lonely... is it so hard to find someone who would listen to me? thats all I need... I need a shoulder to cry on... I need it now...

Im @ my moms place this weekend... and I got to meet 3 of my new cousins!!! They are ADORABLE!!! I also went to see my grandmother... she is the sweetest!!! She hugged me so tight when she saw me... she kept asking if i was ok or not? I love her... i reallly do... she is very warm and kind... :) I remember when i was younger she would always keep me candy in her pocket and give it to me... she always told me I was special... Before I left I went and kissed her head... she hug me so tight and told me to be careful... and that she loved me... I dont talk a lot... because when i talk to her she laughs... my arabic is funny... hehe.. but still she loves me :)

I took my lil bro's out ... they r so cute ... and NOISY... I passed by starbucks to get a frappacino... and they just started running around like maniacs!! hehe It's like a mad house when I come and stay at my moms... i dont know how she stands all this noise!!!

Everyday ... i think about my life.. what am i going to end up doing... and with who? I reallly reallly need a friend right now... I dont think anyone will ever understand me... sometimes i think that I wont find .. the "one" ... Maybe he doesnt even exist... maybe?

On another note...I'm going back home 2moro.. i miss my room... although I do have my own room here at my moms but still... it never felt like home here... I Remember growing up.. when my mom used to take me to the park every afternoon.... and my dad would take pics of me.. my dad kept all these albums in his room... i wonder if they r still there...

i miss being in a house with my both my parents :(

P.S. I want a new car!!!

Escape death...

2005-05-04T15:35:00.000+04:00

I've had a really bad day so far... I woke up.. frustrated from an incident that happened last night with X ... i just dont stand him anymore.. I don't get him and i don't think i ever will.. some people are just so hard to understand ...

He likes getting on my nerves... this morning I started backfiring at him he didnt expect that happening did he..?? Now.. after our short phonecall I was on my way to college... .. I dont know what I was thinking.. daydreaming or maybe even sleeping! But suddenly I see this car overtaking me!! .. I come back from lala land and press hard on my brakes.. and the screeches ..and the turn ...made me wake up! I was this close to dying today... thank god no one got hurt...the guy infront of me was an old indian guy and I guess a very lousy driver.. he overtook my lane to get to the u-turn..... everything went silent for a few seconds... just before i got down from the car to check on the guy...

some cars stopped by and asked if i needed help.. I gave the old man some water and asked if he needed a ride or something.. he wasnt hurt or anything.. he was very sweet.. poor guy..

the rest of my day was bad as i had to sit with the rest of my class for some kind of presentation... which was boring.. didnt talk to anyone today.. left just after our 4th class... I dont stand being there anymore...

I dont know who im going to be with this weekend.. my dad is out of the country.. so that leaves me with my mom and I :) I miss my lil brothers... I might take them out 2nite :)

on another note :) I decided I will talk to R about it after all... he needs to know the truth.. and what happened 3 years ago... I know that won't change anything... but he has the right to know.. to know how i feel .. to know the truth...

P.S. ......Burrrrrrrrrrn :)

Naked

2005-05-03T12:41:00.000+04:00

Have you ever felt Naked? like u don't fit in with the others? i feel like that right now... i feel unwanted, im hurt and i wanna cry.. but i cant...

I cant cry.. I want to ... i feel I do.. i need to but i cant... and it hurts so bad

i'm trying to keep myself from collapsing... from breaking down.. coz i know.. sooner or later its going to happen.. and its gonna be bad...

Why am i feeling this?
Why does this always happen to me?
Why do i put myself in these weird positions?
Why doesn't he like me?
Why do i feel unwanted?
Why don't they call me anymore?
Why am i lonely?
WHY?

All of this going through my head ... I'm this close to haveing a nervous breakdown... I need to go... i have to...

I might be travelling for a few days... I'm not sure where to though...

I'm definintely not going to be here...

P.S. U know i still love u

I Bruise Easily

2005-05-01T09:46:00.000+04:00

I'm one of thos people who bruise easily... I usually get hurt... from my friends, people around me & even my family sometimes... I just swallow the pain and go on with my life... It hurts.. and I think I might explode one day..

The girls in my class at college keep asking me weird questions.. like where my mother is from, why I don't speak Arabic very well, why i'm living alone, why do I have all this freedom. Sometimes I think they are nice and care.. but most of the time they are just nosy!

Neon told me to ignore them, I shouldn't care what they think of me... I try to ignore what I hear and the weird looks and whispers that go on around me.. but sometimes I can't ... i feel like I wanna scream in their faces to just leave me alone ... but i can't :(

Talking to R last night... i realised how stupid I was .. how naive I can be ...we talked for a long time... it's been so long since we both talked.. i missed him .. yes i admit i missed him although I was the one who shot him out of my life... he was the sweetest person I have ever known... he told me I didnt change much... i'm still very cheerful.. always joking around and laughing..whereas he has matured in a very good way...he is older I admot but I never expected him to turn out like this... he asked me :

What's wrong with you, are you ok?

I was surprised... why did he ask me that question? Did he sense I wasn't ok... i was sad... i was depressed .. i was lonely .. i just needed to be with my family right then... his tone of voice showed that he was concerned... I wanted to tell him how I felt.. how hurt I am... what i've been through and why we actually broke up.. I wanted to explain the reasons.. I wanted to cry and cry... but instead.. I giggled.. and told him "Of Course I'm fine.."

I always mask my pain... I mask it with a happy face.... i become extra hyper.. I laugh and joke and people who know me would say i'm the most cheerful person on Earth! Like I have no worries whatsoever!

I'm scared that one day I might break down.. and its gonna be bad... really bad...

P.S. I can't wait !!!

Crazy Weekend

2005-04-30T09:38:00.000+04:00

Are you influenced by your emotions .. or do ur emotions influence you?

I met up with a very old school friend this weekend R ... we sort of had a history together, I dont know why we broke up.. we were both very young.. we enjoyed spending time together, we used to take tennis lessons together... we spent most of our time together and even went to summer school together.... we were inseperable !

As we grew older.. things changed..we had different interests... we parted.. but still called each other on occasions ... i never expected to see R he grew older, wiser of course... he has different interests... but yet... i still see him as my best friend... i was glad i saw him.. i missed him!

He never failed to draw a smile on my face.. and would never make me angry.. even when we were younger... he would look out for me... defend me in all ways... he was my protector.. and I was happy being in his company 24/7...He told me he had a girlfriend... I dont deny i felt jelous.. but happy for him... He promised he would talk me jet skiing soon... and i'm gonna nag him until he does...

The weekend was amazing ... Wednesday night... Neon came over.. called up some friends.. who called other friends.. and before you know it.. my place was crowded with people I dont know!! I sent the maids and driver out for the day told them they could do whatever they want.. and i was supposed to have dinner out... so we had no food at home!!! Luckily Neon already ordered in ... so before u know it.. everyone was everywhere and I saw some of them actually jumped into the pool with their clothes on! Everyone left at around 2 am... by then i was dead tired and asked Neon to spend the night.. so we cleaned up.. and i crashed on the sofa coz i was too tired to go upstairs to my room..

I woke up with the noise of the vaccum cleaner so i got up and went to check up on Neon who left me a note in my room saying she went to the beach ! I called her up it was about 9 am.. she told me to come over .. so i said.. why not ! Its already been crazy since yesterday.. so i spent the morning at the beach.. then went over to Johnny Rockets for lunch...

By then i was dead tired so i went home for a nap... thursday night went out with some friends... thats when I saw R :)

Next weekend i'll be with my mom I dont know what we're doing yet...

until then =)

P.S. I hate u even more now..

Last minute change of plans..

2005-04-27T15:01:00.000+04:00

This weekend was my dad's turn to have me ... i visit my parents on alternative weekends.. one weekend im with my dad the other its with my mom...

He called me up this morning saying he was going to be too busy this weekend and will make up for it.. next time :( i felt like screaming and crying... but i was in class.. and i'd rather not make my dad feel bad more than he is... so i pretended i was fine about it.. and told him i'll spend this weekend home and might have some friends come over..

to boost my mood... i called up Neon and told her im staying for the weekend and we should do something wild...

This weekend is going to ROCK!!!!

P.S. I dont like u anymore :)

I'm so in Love... I'm so in Hate

2005-04-26T21:17:00.000+04:00

Can someone be in love and in hate in the same time?! weird huh?

I used to be Soooo in love with someone... and i think i still am... but sometimes i feel im also in hate !! its killing me... the thought of it just creeps me out.. well enough about that ... i'll just confuse everyone with this love/hate phase im going through!

On another hand... i talked to L last night... well actually i had to ... i heard she was sick and being me.. i had to call and check up on her.. she sounded fine.. actually she was out!! she wanted to know what i've been up to lately... and who i saw ! I know she wanted to know if i met up with any of our guy friends... but I didn't give her the chance to question me and hung up...

I have a lot of Birthday shopping to do.. but im currently broke.. so i have to wait until i get some $$$$ in my account :)

Here is a list of 50 things u might wanna know about me...

Before I go to bed I like playing with my hair ..until i doze off.. better off if someone is playing with my hair I sleep in like 5 mins!
The first thing I do when I get up is check my phone for messages/calls I missed while I was sleeping :)
I can tottallllllllllly skip lunch for ice-cream, anytime.
I'm head over heels for Chocolate.
I love corny love movies which make u cry in the end!!
I look awful in make up, so i hardly put on any.
I love tanning...
I've been living alone since 1998!
I see my parents on alternative weekends.
I have 2 brothers and a sister that I've never seen (long story)
I call my car.. my MOJO :)
Some people say I don't look local, although i am 100%.
I have a mole on my left shoulder.
I have 3 pericings in my right ear and one in my belly.
I've tried smoking several times, but never liked it.
I was offered alchohol more than once but never accepted it.
I tried bungee-jumping twice.
I don't speak arabic very well, I prefer speaking in English.
I hate coming back home knowing there is no one waiting up for me.
I miss my mother a lot, but never told her that.
I blow kisses to myself everytime I see myself in the mirror!!
I like cleaning windows, I actually do when im bored.
I'm addicted to jeans.
I love surprises.
I don't beleive in love at first sight.
I have 2 gay friends, i've known them for about 5 years now!
I've been stalked twice in my life.
I have been in one serious car accident which kept me in hospital for 3 months.
I have been in 2 motorbike accidents, injured in both.
I've been riding horses since I was 8 still counting...
I hate sushi.
I hate materialistic people.
I hate show-offs.
I love travelling, anywhere.
I could spend an entire day at the movies.
I have always had the feeling that I am addpted, but then again im an exact copy of my mother!
I drink black coffee or nothing.
I hate posh restaurants.
I'm a very laid back person.
I have 2 dogs.
I sound like a kid on the phone!
I was offered to join a photoshoot for a local company, but my parents refused, obviously!
I'm allergic to eggs.
I like reading whenever I have time.
I have friends from all over the place.
I nearly got married, twice.
I sense when something bad is going to happen.
I like trying out new restaurants.
I love being in the states in winter.
I love London in Spring.

I think thats enough for now.. I'm late for class..

***P.S I received my first warning letter!

My Friend or my Enemy?

2005-04-25T11:40:00.000+04:00

I am finding it difficult to keep aware of my friends and my enemies...

I am quite aware of who my friends are and who my enemies are... i have a friend L who constantly tries to bug me... whether we r out.. going to watch a movie or gathering around with friends...

L is a friend of mine for about more than 13 years now... I have always considered her more than a friend... a sister... part of my family...

lately.. when we gather with our friends (guys & girls) she would always say mean stuff to me.. and i ignore her... it bugs me a lot.. but I try not to show her that im disturbed... she keeps acting mean and bossy and always has to have it her way.. i try not let her get to me..

I know she has a crush on D ... but D isnt interested in her as he already told me that... my friends the guys all count me as a friend... we all joke around together and they are comfortable with me to the level that they tell me their secrets... they dont consider me anything more than that... L doesnt like that... when she jokes around with the guys or meets up with them... its fine... but god forbid I do that... its considered tabboo... she has told my other friends stuff about me.. that made them distant from me... they dont call me anymore.. and never meet up...

one of my friends told me that she is jelous and it shows... but why should she be... ? I think she is a bit insecure with herself.. and i dont like the fact that we are good friends for so long that something stupid like this comes between us... i am not interested in any of the guys but she insists hinting that i am...

D told me to confront her... but i dont want to... its just me.. i cant do stuff like that... i never comment on her slutty clothes.. and if i wear something a bit revealing.. she will be like *AAAH* with a shocked look on her face... wtf!??

i am simply ignoring her for now.. and i dont give a damn what she says....

this was just pissing me off and i had to let it all out sooner or later

Friends?!

2005-04-25T09:25:00.000+04:00

Friends?!

Who are your friends? Recently I've been experiencing some trouble with my so-called friends..

I have a friend lets call her L i dont know what her problem is... she is always trying to piss me off!!! For no reason... my friends tell me because she is jelous why I get all the attention when we go out... i dont care about that ... and she is 2 years older than me.. she should know better...

my so-called friend L likes... no no she LOVES attention... whatsoever... she would always wear designer.. and put on a lot of make up... dress up reallllllllllllllllllllly slutty just to get the guys attention when we go out! how sick... i sometimes feel sorry for her...

The problem is ... when L talks to any of the guys... its ok but... god forbid I do, then its tabboo!! I am not "Supposed" to talk to them or joke around.. .and if any of them would call me out to meet up... she will be calling them every 10 mins asking what are they up to!! gimme a break!

the problem is... L is talking about me behind my back and is turning all my friends against me.. I dont give a damn anymore... whatever she wants to say she can... I dont care!

i've been ignoring her lately and trying not to meet up with her.. she is selfish, self-centered, and very insecure about herself... who is she to judge me anyway!!

its just been bugging me a lot lately... but i realised she is not worth it!

Early Coffee..

2005-04-24T09:14:00.000+04:00

The smell of coffee.. the aroma ... its sensual...

don't freak it.. i just love coffee :)

While lying in bed last night I was thinking... how weird people can get. I know this person, lets call this person X, u can say we became really good friends in a short period of time. Suddenly without further notice I have become shut out from thier life. Why? don't ask me.... I did have feelings for X and im sure X did as well...

I talked to X last night and I was frustrated... about how distant we became, its bugs me... a lot

i miss X...

no thats off my chest... I got another phonecall this morning... from my aunt... she was asking if was ok?! I told her i was....and asked why... she said she had a very weird dream and she said it meant I had some kind of problem... I assured her I was fine and there is nothing to be worried about...

to tell u the truth I dont know if im fine or not..

I'm going shopping 2day... with some friends... I dont know why.. but Im not looking forward to it...

*sigh*

at last!

2005-04-22T23:50:00.000+04:00

It took me ages to get a 'title' for my blog! i tried everything! Finnallllllllllllllllly uaeblogger works with me :)

i dont know what to post its quite late and I have to be up really early 2moro morning... there is a lot going through my mind... and i dont know where to start... im confused i dont know what i want to do with my life... bottom line is :

im lonely

yes u heard it... im l-o-n-e-l-y i have to have someone in my life... i always do... once im alone i feel depressed and i dont know what to do in my life... am i okay?? I dont know why i always end up like this... i mean when im in a relationship .. im fine... its right we do have our ups and downs in all relationships.. but as soon as im single again... i just go downhill...

i sat down this afternoon and thought about it.. i think its because i was never close to any of my family members plus i didnt get much attention from both my parents who are currently not living together i always need someone out there who would give me the slightest attention and hold on tight to them... then again at times when people get too attached to me... i kind of back off... im scared of commitment... i am :(

i think im just saying a lot over here.. some people might not like... but im just speaking my mind ...

adios... until my next post..